I’m not even in America. So why does Trump’s win bother me? Maybe his choices will affect my country’s economy. So that is a reason. I do not yet know if it will be for the better or worse though. So for that I can stand and wait.

But why did I just spend an afternoon looking through posts and opinions and memes and articles about people with very little relevance to my life?

It is because I hate what has won. Not who. What.

I hate that arrogance has won.
I hate that lies have won.
I hate that money (turned into power) and manipulation won.

Because that is what I see in his speeches and what I read in his actions.
Proof of this is blatantly visible in his disregards for women’s worth as well as his miss-interpretation of situations to suit his own agenda e.g. telling lies about an Obama speech.

Do I feel sorry for his wife who chooses to stick by such a fool?
No – she chooses that.

Do I want to shun his whole family?
No – I can not disregard the good that comes out of a situation and surely no person is only bad.

Do I think that Hillary was the better choice?
No – no necessarily, because I do not know what lies beneath her crafty surface and she takes a stand for some frightening causes.

But do I weep for the fact that out of 325 000 000 people, it came down to such a frightening choice? Yes!

Surely there are good and honest people who also have the guts and intelligence to lead wisely. How come it is not their faces that are paraded around a nation?

That saddens me: When the good that is within us all (because we were all originally made good by God) is not what is celebrated and is not given a chance to thrive.

Do I fear the future? NO…somehow we (and America) will survive. I just wish I could believe that it would be effortless due to a trustworthy leader, rather than a volatile character. I do not know if God and His principles will be given a chance (as their nation’s slogan says), but I know He can do miraculous things.

I just wish there were more truly Godly leaders. Not holy moley Bible punching hypocrites…simply people who spoke and lived according to what He knows is wise. Because that’s why He gives us morals and guidelines…because He knows what is good for us.

So good luck Trump – may you not run a country into the ground. Good luck America…let’s see what your choice brings.

But now…I shall not forget my own country.

And though everyone around me may feel we are as lost as America, I would like to still stand and proclaim my faith in this country, just as I believe in the possibility of God having an influence in America IF WE LET HIM have an influence.

And this happens through us. Through good people. Through people who live what is right and grab hold of the conviction that we can shine a light and see how darkness tumbles.

And we have many such leaders…and of that I am proud!!!
Are they perfect? No
Are their records blemishless? No

But, oh, I have seen them fight the good fight for the sake of our country and not simply for personal gain.
I wish there were more Zille’s and Leon’s and Maimane’s. (I wish I had their guts and determination some days).
Though they are not saints, I do not doubt these people’s characters that chose to fight for people’s rights. And in South Africa we have given these people power. Power in the form of a position that can have influence.

And of that I am extremely proud.
And that gives me hope for a future even though every newspaper seems glum.

I do not aim at being naive…but hopeful yes!

I do not condemn America or its leader, but I think they chose an interesting ride.

May both the countries survive current leaders.

May we realise the impact of every choice and vote we take.

May we allow Him to lead us in it all.

That’s just me.

Its like pulling yourself up out of the mud.

The sludge of negative thoughts and self-criticism. The draining fight against fear of failure and overcoming challenging events…

I started this piece months ago and found it today again.

What I am grateful to say is that I’ve done some pulling these past few months.

Gone is the running away from my thoughts. I have learnt that I can come to a stand-still, face them, page through them to see which ones are valid and which ones I should ignore. Some fears exist because of bad past experiences, but pushing THROUGH the thought shows me that there is more light than darkness on the other side. Light in terms of possibilities instead of only the option of failure. The fact that failure doesn’t mean the end…its just part of a process. Pushing through a negative thought and fear, I realise that I am capable to withstand a challenge and that I have more strength than I thought I did.

Why do I write this?

Because, if I can see progress in how I think about life and challenges I want to face and dreams I want to chase, then maybe someone else can too. And sometimes we need confirmation that we can.

Feeling utterly abandoned and frustrated with an unknown future and feelings of inadequacies, I stumble across a hero’s online video, mentioning that miracles and the impossible is where God prefers to work.

If she could survive and stand with a smile on her face, then so can I.

Its going to take a lot of hard work.

But I have started breaking through the thoughts holding me back…and thoughts are sometimes stronger than the actual situations.

So let’s keep on going. Mud will not keep me back.

It is easy sitting here writing.

It is not that easy being out there in the world and doing.

I know all that I wish the world to be. I know all the wise approaches that will make my relationships better and will most probably help me achieve my dreams.

I know it all. In my head.

But doing it…that’s hard.

Doing it means that I make choices according to priorities, not whims.
Doing it means that I have to stand by my convictions, even when there’s adversity.
Doing it means that I proclaim my beliefs, no matter who is staring me in the face.

And that is hard.

I chase a dream of doing good and I hit a speed bump. The going was easy and suddenly there’s a mud pool that makes me feel uncomfortable, doubting myself, making me feel embarrassed.

It can be easy to cancel the path taken. I can just sit in front of my computer all day and spew my message out from here. It is comfortable. It doesn’t offer many challenges in terms of finances or in terms of dealing with people.

But that’s not enough.
It is simply not enough for me to write a thing and not live it.

I can not dream of giving my children wise advice one day…but having to hide away the fact that I never attempted what I want them to pursue.

Writing is easy.
Living is hard.
But doing only number 1 just isn’t enough.

He made me for more than that.

I cringe at the feeling of having my beliefs challenged, some of my plans crash, having no answers when everything I try fail. But I’m not dead yet. So failure is only a temporary feeling. And isn’t it subjective? Not thing attempted doesn’t at least have a lesson as result or at least one life influenced. So I choose what I define as failure (still processing that thought…)

So I will face the discomfort and push through. I will attempt to reach the other side, the dream, the ideal.
Even half of it is better than only talking about it.

That’s just me.

I often ask myself the question: am I going the right way? Is what I am busy with getting me closer to where I’m aimed at. Sometimes I have to re-align and ask…what am I aiming at?

I was driving on the highway, talking to God about all the changes taking place in my life. I am moving into a new business which I love, but from my perspective it moves away from my ultimate goal. In the logical sense of life, where I was is supposed to get me where I am going. The mindset, the resources, the workforce were all there. But I just wasn’t happy there. My season came to an end as I at last made the decision to move. But I am left with many questions. Somehow, the place which made sense didn’t move me to the next base.

So we are driving on the freeway. I am asking many questions. I am fearful of not reaching the place where my dreams, skills and purpose meet up and create a glorious monument of all He has placed in me. Because that’s the goal: using what He has given me.

So we are searching for the way there. And as I am taking the offramp that directs me to my (new) house I sense the idea of being directed in a certain way. Taking a specific offramp for a special specific reason. A direction that seems to have no reason, but one that He knows the layout of.

So I will trust that.

That is all I’ve got.

This idea of Him creating offramps for His precious beings to guide them towards their destinies that He dreamed of first. And He smiles as I have the guts and take the effort of leaving the mainstream traffic for now. Because sublime journeys are waiting.

Off course… of course.

Because that’s how He rolls.

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD

Honestly: I struggle to live by this. I believe it, but its still scary driving alone on a road…good luck with YOUR journey