It probably sounds like a post about accepting others or yourself. Not today. This one is about accepting that you’re wrong.
Of course none of us are perfect. I KNOW that but I don’t LIVE that.
Have you ever had a disagreement with someone for months on end? Usually you just think the other person is the stubborn one…the one in the wrong…the one creating the conflict. What if he or she isn’t?
I was about 10 when I first realized this. I wish I remember this lesson more often. My sister and I used to fight a lot and I just thought it was because she was such an irritating little sister. Until one day.
After being scolded by my mother I wanted to tjustify my own part and from somewhere a voice came to me. ‘What if this is because of you?’.
I know I changed after that day. It’s etched in my mind as one of the first days I believe the Holy Spirit started teaching me about the value of relationships: That admitting my faults-ACCEPTING that I’m wrong-is a good thing.
Best of all is that it changed my view of my sister turning her into one of the people I respect most on earth.
Jump forward two decades and I’m at cross roads again. I make mistakes at work. I lose a close friend because of disagreements. I have intense discussions with family members.
Always there is the instinct to protect myself; to justify my reason for acting the way I did. But if only my actions can be justified I’m not giving the other person the benefit of the doubt that they could be right as well.
Sitting on the couch trying to deal with the hurt of losing someone close simply because you don’t agree-I’m literally mourning someone- I have moments of clarity.
They’re not full blown yet. But I taste what it could be like not to walk around with the hurt and dread anymore. And that doesn’t come from them admitting their faults or us resuming the joys of our relationships. It comes from:
- Accepting that I hurt people
- Accepting that I made wrong choices along the way
- Accepting that I spoke too many negative words about them
- Accepting that I should have changed my perspective at the start and just maybe it could have turned out differently.
There is a tiny layer of relief that comes with that. Part of it is that I can ask forgiveness-if only from God-for my mistakes. But I can’t ask for forgiveness if I don’t ACCEPT that I was wrong, right?
This doesn’t mean I’m the only one to blame. But I want to move forward and put this behind me.
And that brings one of the best feelings in the world: The dissipation of guilt. I realized for months I’ve been carrying guilt around mostly because I’m not sure what I did wrong. I’m still sifting through a whole lot of thoughts, feelings and perspectives to get to the bottom of what exactly happened in my life the past two years. (It’s been awesome, weird, hurting and educational all together).
But I realise I’ve been running from the wisdom God wants to give me because I don’t want to ACCEPT that I was wrong sometimes. Admitting my faults means I should have acted differently and I’m afraid I’ll feel regret and shame when I ACCEPT I’m wrong.
But the shame lifts, the guilt disappears and He promises me a good tomorrow. He’s been waiting for months to tell me this but I’ve been running from His voice. I hope you stop sooner than I did, look Him in the face, ACCEPT and feel how He tends to Your wounds.