Just words or more life

It is easy sitting here writing.

It is not that easy being out there in the world and doing.

I know all that I wish the world to be. I know all the wise approaches that will make my relationships better and will most probably help me achieve my dreams.

I know it all. In my head.

But doing it…that’s hard.

Doing it means that I make choices according to priorities, not whims.
Doing it means that I have to stand by my convictions, even when there’s adversity.
Doing it means that I proclaim my beliefs, no matter who is staring me in the face.

And that is hard.

I chase a dream of doing good and I hit a speed bump. The going was easy and suddenly there’s a mud pool that makes me feel uncomfortable, doubting myself, making me feel embarrassed.
It can be easy to cancel the path taken. I can just sit in front of my computer all day and spew my message out from here. It is comfortable. It doesn’t offer many challenges in terms of finances or in terms of dealing with people.

But that’s not enough.
It is simply not enough for me to write a thing and not live it.

I can not dream of giving my children wise advice one day…but having to hide away the fact that I never attempted what I want them to pursue.

Writing is easy.
Living is hard.
But doing only number 1 just isn’t enough.

He made me for more than that.

I cringe at the feeling of having my beliefs challenged, some of my plans crash, having no answers when everything I try fail. But I’m not dead yet. So failure is only a temporary feeling. And isn’t it subjective? Not thing attempted doesn’t at least have a lesson as result or at least one life influenced. So I choose what I define as failure (still processing that thought…)

So I will face the discomfort and push through. I will attempt to reach the other side, the dream, the ideal.
Even half of it is better than only talking about it.

That’s just me.


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