I scroll past the pictures of the students who fight and loot and destroy in our country. I scroll quite quickly. I do not want to see it.
Part of me doesn’t want to give chaos leeway in my psyche…but the rest of me is just plain startled. Startled to see that what I believe isn’t happening. And if it doesn’t happen…will I lose my belief?

Because I believe that this is a great country. I have a belief that God had and has a plan for our colourful nation. And those pictures do not represent that.

I am not proud for running away from the glimpses of tragedy.
But I did stop in my tracks this morning and face my fear and face my insecurity.
And I chose a mindset.

What I see is not what I hoped for when in 1994 my country stood up for something great. Am I the typical patriotic South African who braais a lot and will never leave her roots? NO. Not at all. Simply out of curiosity I would love to experience the world out there as home.
But that does not diminish my faith in my first home.

And my faith has always been that we were destined to stand up for something worthwhile. The world looked at us and saw a miracle. Our great leader became the reference of many in the same situation. Is that not something to be proud of? To get chills about? That is how powerful our small country chose to be in the WORLD.

And now a few simpering idiots decide that they are not happy. They destroy precious items, lives and they destroy time.

I can keep on scrolling past and seem naive. Naive in that I do not want to admit that there is outrage and ghastliness out there in my country. Naive that I don’t want to admit that something is WRONG.

But I am not naive. I see all the darkness that challenges light. I see daftness challenging wisdom. I see greed overcoming goodness.

But I do not have to buy into it.

I have a voice and a pen and if we could stay afloat in 1994 and create a miraculous society instead of civil war, then I know:
In this country there are still good people…so our country is still good
IN this country there are still people with morals…so we will not succumb to the worst
In this country there are people who believe…so our prayers will forever echo

And does the presence of darkness and stupidity now show me that my faith was ungrounded?

Certainly not. Light and wisdom travels in me, so I am the keeper of what we need. I am the presence of all that I believe in. And as long as I stand (even just to stand for hope and truth and morals and kindness to those around me), that Presence prevails.
I am the answer to this country…every day answering the call by living what I believe and cherish and was taught by good parents. By living what I believe God requests of us all, I am an anchor to that which is light in the darkness. And there are many of us. I know it.

I will not stop living what I know to be wise and good and under leadership of the Light…so how will the darkness then ever win?

I see the horrible truths of our country and my heart breaks for it (maybe the true reason why I scroll past?)…but I LIVE what I know is good and right and what will bring hope to others…and then the horror will not triumph.

Their actions do not determine His presence or my actions.

But my actions can have impact just as those pictures influenced me.

That’s just me.