We were supposed to be better than this

We were supposed to be better than this

I sit and talk politics with my husband and I realise how we as humans lack commitment. So many of my friends—and yes me too—have started on great journeys. We find purpose and then we find pleasure in other things…so we get sidetracked.

I believe God gave us all the potential to turn this earth into a glorious place to live in. All our resources are here.

But we choose to walk the other way. We decide to follow selfish goals. We decide to ruin the environment. We decide to pursue things that would destroy others.

We can be better but we choose not to. This is a global but also a very personal issue.

We Miss the Mark

What are the things that made you miss out on goals you had 10 years ago?

I think power, money and sex have stolen some of the world’s greatest accomplishments. I’m talking about peace, showing love and doing something for the greater good.

 

Too Many People Miss the Mark

I don’t like Trump. All my friends know it. Still I know he’s doing good things too. But I’m scared his arrogance will lead to disaster. And if he does amazing things while being a twisted, manipulative, chauvinistic, selfish idiot…imagine what he can do with a few better traits than bullying.

I read a book about Aung San Suu Kyi of Burma years ago and what hit me was this: The potential of what one person can do in a country. I was impressed. And now, years later, she is criticized for her treatment of the Rohingya situation in her country. She started out so well…

I don’t claim to be a political expert. I don’t know all the facts. All I know is people with great power don’t produce all the wonderful outcomes they’re capable of.

I have friends with talents and dreams and when I have to say how many of them kept to their original convictions…that percentage is remarkably small.

I Miss the Mark

And then I have to evaluate myself. And then I have to admit my mistakes. My faults for not pushing through to achieve certain goals.

Personally I often relied on people to help me get there and when they disappear I don’t have the courage to keep going. Or perhaps I simply don’t believe enough in myself to try it on my own. Or a disappointment seems too big and I simply give up praying.

The Magic Word: YET

So there’s one thing that gives me hope.

There is one word I can add to these stories: YET.

I haven’t reached it YET. Trump is not a nice man YET. The world is not an ideal place YET. South Africa hasn’t found peace YET.

My fight is to net let the status quo depress me.

The Change

I think I’ve been in a slumber for a long time. Perhaps you’ve gone through those seasons when all you want to do is browse on Facebook and hide from all responsibilities.

But in the past few weeks I’ve experienced change in my actions. Something happened…a person, a book, the Word, enough rest or the most powerful of all I believe: A choice

A spark to be better, to do more, to chase those dreams again. What I haven’t achieved YET can still be in my tomorrows.

What the world is supposed to be can still become true. Because at one stage a World War ended, slavery came to an end and someone in the depths of despair found a solution in God.

Perhaps it’s naive to wish for perfect, but if I change a life like some people have changed mine for the better that’s something. And if that happens over and over and over again…we can YET build a better world.

I don’t want to but I will

I don’t want to but I will

I’ve been struggling with something for months.

It’s like: A part of your brain knows what the right thing is to do. For me, this time around, it’s about how I’m supposed to deal with certain people. I know I’m supposed to be more loving, kind, accepting. That gets difficult when lies and deception brought along distrust.

But I know my judging approach-and fiery temper-is not the answer.

So today I realised: I may not feel that love, kindness and acceptance at the moment. Perhaps I won’t feel it for a long while. But that doesn’t mean I can’t step up to the plate and be a better person.

You see, I often think I’m only supposed to act in accordance with my thoughts and feelings.  I believe that’s living honestly.

But when I know I’m supposed to be more loving, perhaps forcing myself into an action (and not following my own selfish ways) is not the worst idea of the day. Perhaps me keeping my mouth shut, stopping my thoughts from thinking the worst, smiling instead of frowning could be one way God helps me build his kind of temperament instead of my own.

Maybe that’s a different kind of honest…honest about the fact that I’m not always right.

I’ve been trying-and failing badly-at trying to change my heart and thoughts. I was waiting for them to lead my actions. Perhaps the other way around also works.

Someone told me yesterday that I don’t have to overthink and understand everything. As long as I dwell in His Word, try my best and keep my ears open, He will do the rest. And I know He is the changer of hearts, thoughts and minds.

So I’m hoping He will change my thoughts when I start surrendering my actions to Him. And then I realise…that’s what He’s done in the past. I remember all those time He has been faithful and loving when I listened to His call or guidance even when I didn’t WANT to…but I knew it was the right thing to do.

Let’s be clear: I DO NOT feel like doing this. But realising that DOING something may break me free from the bad habits I have formed…that’s a good enough reason to try.

So I’m trying this.

May you find unique ways of figuring out your challenges too.

 

I Saw You

I Saw You

I’m eating a chocolate in the car because I thought I deserved a spoil.

 

And then I see you.

 

You’re old. You’re tired. You’re doing your boss/colleague/partner’s bidding, tending to something at the back of the truck.

 

I wish I could exchange places with you for a moment. You worked physically hard today while I was behind my laptop. And now I’m eating chocolate in an air conditioned car while you’re labouring in the heat.

 

I know you’re a hard worker. I know there’s no thought in your mind of not getting up for work again tomorrow. Yes, you need the money, but hard work is part of who you are.

 

Yes,  I work hard too. But in my environment employers think about job satisfaction, developing their teams’ potential and giving incentives. I think you simply work hard because it’s what you do…and have to do.

 

I’m thankful for the job God provided where I can use skills I love. I wish I knew what you would have chosen if you had the opportunity.

 

I can’t change your life. I know our decisions-yours too-determine where we end up. And perhaps others in high paying jobs feel exactly as you do at the end of a Friday afternoon.

 

I can’t exchange places with you. But I can give you respect. You’re worth just as much as me, the millionaire in the BMW next to us and the teenagers dancing at the intersection in the hope I’ll give them a few coins.

 

I will respectfully smile if I pass you in the shops, because that’s what we all would want. And I hope it will turn your tired eyes into smiling ones, even if just for a second.

 

I salute you.

A Letter to my Friends. Please Read. It’s About You

A Letter to my Friends. Please Read. It’s About You

Moving is tough and I’m not talking about packing boxes.

I may never see all of you again. When I think of all your faces I think of all the value you added to my life.

There is this urgency in me not to go before you KNOW what you mean to me. That’s what I’m all about I guess: that people may know their worth. Maybe because some individuals have helped me find mine and now I can’t bear the thought of you not knowing the impact your life has made on me.

I’m moving far away and for a few years you have helped form me and guide me through the waves of life. And now that season is over, but what you’ve accomplished in me is not. Your marks made me stronger, wiser and happier. And you have to know that that is a legacy you leave in this world.

Yes, I know with the technology of today we’ll still communicate. But I’m going to miss the times around the kitchen tables and feeling your comforting hugs or seeing your smile. So here’s me trying to say thank you for all those moments.

Thank You for Making me Laugh

Is there anything better than making a serious, complicated person like me get out of her usual box of reference and laugh ecstatically? You made that happen. You made me see the lighter side of life. You made me ENJOY life when all I wanted was to ACCOMPLISH life.

Thank you.

Thank You for Being Wise when I Couldn’t be

I’m used to being the counselor and advisor. But there were times when I couldn’t be and I became the student. And wow, your authentic way of living and “practice what you preach”-ways and your experience made me trust your insight. Thank you that you had the guts to go through trials so I could learn at your feet for a change. I will never forget what you did for me.

Thank You for Listening

I prefer listening. I love hearing stories. But then occasionally I need an ear. And you were there. How can I say thank you enough that you heard my sorry stories without judging or even advising. Safe spaces are hard to come by in this world and you gave me one. Thank you.

Thank You for Drying up My Tears

I love crying. It cleanses me. It’s God’s way of getting all the junk out of my system. And you allowed me to vent. You made me okay again. Most of all you made me feel safe even though I was vulnerable. There is no greater gift a friend can give. Safety. Wow. I’m going to miss that.

But as God always sent you at exactly the right time when I needed you, I also know He will send me new safety nets in my new home. I pray that you will always find the right friends at the right time. You deserve the best.

Thank You for Making me Dream

You helped me realise dreams, dream new ones and encouraged me every step of the way. How do you say thank you to someone who saw potential in you even before you knew it was there yourself?

Thank you for bringing me one step closer to my God-given purpose. Thank you for the insight and inspiring me by chasing your own dreams. You’re amazing and I pray all your goals will one day be reached. I will be praying from afar. I will cheer you on always.

Will We Meet Again?

I don’t know who of you I will see again. I must make peace that seasons change. I don’t want unrealistic expectations because it hurts too much when expectations aren’t met.

But whether this is farewell or only ‘until we meet again’, know that the memory of you makes my life richer. It gives me the strength to move onto the next chapter of my life. You have been good to this person and may God bless you immensely for that. You have been His hand in my life and I have been so privileged to know you.

Today words aren’t enough to express my gratitude.

I hope we meet again. In my heart our friendship lives on. Thank you for the footsteps you left in this heart so far.