Category: wisdom

Stuck in the Mud

Stuck in the Mud

Today I just have a short thought to share.

Thinking about our current journey (LOTS of faith needed there!), I become aware of how God continually encourages me to trust Him with the future.

But oh wow, can I get overwhelmed with the unknown that lies ahead!!

I know He gets it, and is very patient with me…knowing how difficult it is for me.

But I’m hoping the metaphor I came up with keeps me a little more on track and less afraid all the time.

Faith = Stones | Unbelief = Mud

Imagine a field of mud and dotted all over you see stones. Big enough to stand on. Stepping stones. Clean. Dry. Safe.

But REPEATEDLY over the past few weeks, all I seem to do…all I seem to CHOOSE…is stepping in the mud.

The mud of unbelief – not trusting Him although He has shown me countless times that He always comes through in some way. All the while, His stone is there to make me feel less insecure.

The mud of fear – not trusting Him to look after our future, my husband, my daughter. While it’s completely safe on His stones of faith.

The mud of self-reliance – going round and round in circles in my head about how I can make the situation work…while He has proven that He is fully capable of taking us where we’re going and that He is orchestrating a beautiful story. While it’s much less exhausting on His stones of being at peace with what He brings along.

The mud of feeling despondent and overwhelmed – instead of stepping up onto a stone of faith that leads to joy about what’s to come…because I trust HIM with what’s coming.

Stepping Onto = A Choice

Faith is Godly. His Spirit shows me how to get it right. But I also need to CHOOSE to use what He gives me. I must CHOOSE to believe.

I don’t want to be sucked into the mud anymore.

To me, a picture sometimes helps make the better decision. I’m keeping this picture in mind to remind what NOT to do…and what other option there is.

feet on stepping stone of faith
Photo by Jordan Whitt on Unsplash

Here’s to hoping I step onto the stones a little more every day.

It’s Difficult

It’s Difficult

It’s difficult to find yourself…your purpose…your niche where you know you’ll flourish. Because there are so many options. And you see others and watch others and think…’oh, that’s how I’m supposed to do it’.

But it’s not.

Difficult to Find Your Spot

So many other people’s paradise have been my downfall. Their ideal soil was where I perished instead of grew.

And all the while I’m wasting precious time I could have simply invested in finding my spot. My corner – my niche. My lane to run in.

I know all the jargon. I’ve read all the books.

But still, it’s difficult.

  • I want to be a mother as good as that friend.
  • I want to travel the world like that one.
  • I want to have the work title that other lady has.

Sound familiar?

But all the while I have a different purpose!

What I Know

And I know that I have that purpose because wherever I go You, Lord, send people who need me…who I connect with…with whom I grow…that teach me. And that’s valuable. You are on Your way with me.

I’m not off track, because continuously I see how You’re actively involved in where I’m going. And today I heard again how all You really care about is pulling us closer to You. That’s where You’re going with us.

But still I glance to someone else’s lane sometimes.

It’s difficult…to keep eyes front…to keep ears to Your voice (instead of people’s opinions).

It’s difficult.

Difficult to Grasp Your Patience

In all of this, You have always been so kind.

Never have You given up, trying to direct me on my path.

Never have You stopped sending people my way to provide guidance when I need it.

Never have You not spoken in some or other manner – even if it’s after a long time of me trying to figure out stuff on my own before asking for Your input.

Always, You are right there. Next to me. Patiently waiting for me to take the next step forward.

Patiently helping me live out the purpose of getting to know You more.

Need Help? 3 Phrases that Sound Cliche but Aren’t

Need Help? 3 Phrases that Sound Cliche but Aren’t

Fact: life is hard.

No matter what situation you’re in, there’s bound to be a challenge coming your way. And that’s not being pessimistic. That’s just life.

How often do you feel you need help? Please read on for in case here’s something you need to hear today.

The Possibility of Hope

I’m not professing to have the answer to all situations. However, what I share today are a few hopeful moments that came across my path in the past few weeks.

For me, the challenge at the moment is being in the midst of a pregnancy. That’s one amazing privilege and adventure! But as the due date crawls closer I find myself overcome by a range of emotions…fears…situations. I battle to keep balance and I soooo want to do this right for this girl-baby’s benefit.

So, it feels like I’m facing a different challenge every other day. Not as big as some challenges in life…but when your actions affect a little soul coming into the world – and me being a new mom who usually likes being in control -…the challenges feel overwhelming.

However, when I look back over the past few weeks, as much as I can identify the challenges, I recognise Him. The Godly advice that came across my path was always there. IF I’m wise enough to open my mind to it.

Because I’m a word person, I think His guidance sticks in my head in the form of words…phrases. So here goes…a few of His words to me. Hopefully, they can bring a little light to one of your challenging days.

3 Phrases

Calm Down

Perhaps you think this is one phrase no one should ever say to you. In movies they joke about husbands who dare to say ‘calm down’ when a woman reacts. But when it’s God that places these words in your mind…you kind of listen.

For me, a personal struggle has been to keep balance between working and being pregnant. I aim to please and hate to disappoint. But when you’re pregnant, things must change. I simply couldn’t go on as I used to. It was affecting me and there was the risk of my work worries affecting my baby.

It took one scare of early contractions at 33 weeks to make me realise that I needed to adjust my mindset. 4 days in hospital and I was different. I had to be. Mrs In Control even cried with the nurse about how I didn’t know how to do it all right. But the promise of a new life growing inside you forces you to change.

But change isn’t always permanent. Each week I have to remind myself what my priority is. And perhaps God also knew I needed regular reminders.

For example, one morning during my quiet time, all that came to mind was ‘calm down’. And I knew. Calm down about the people I’m worried about…calm down about work…calm down about keeping housework up to date. It doesn’t help to worry and it definitely doesn’t help little Lucy when I’m tense all the time.

And then, when my husband left for work that day and out of the blue he said ‘relax…take it easy…‘, you know it’s God confirming the message for the day.

Do those words make life less stressful? No.

But:

  • It changes how I respond to the stress that wants to enter my life.
  • It helps me focus on simply getting the next thing done, instead of trying to handle everything at once.
  • They help me enjoy a meeting with a colleague, instead of only worrying about clients.
  • The advice makes me take 5 minutes just for myself in the still-empty babyroom, because I will never have those 5 minutes again.
  • And it makes me enjoy an evening on the couch to rest, even if I couldn’t get everything done, knowing that rest will empower me to face the next day’s workload.

Calm down. It has more positive outcomes than you may think.

He Didn’t Give Us a Spirit of Fear

My other panic I had to deal with over the past few weeks was the idea of giving birth. Despite amazing prenatal classes – which helped resolve some fears – I became a little paranoid. What was going to happen with me and Baby-Lucy in just a few weeks?

Even the thought that it could happen at any time was overwhelming. How can I be prepared if I don’t know when it’s coming?

And what if something went wrong? What if everything went wrong?

Once again, taking those few minutes of quiet and searching for His view on the topic – rather than my own – was the ONLY thing that changed my mindset about this. Not people, not books, not knowledge…but His Spirit showing me the TRUTH of the situation. Then, I could look at THE TRUTH instead of the enemy’s LIE that I should fear what was coming.

So, what was the truth in this case?

Sitting in my chair, I was overcome with the image of Him WATCHING over her. Also, a few weeks ago I looked up at the babyroom roof and noticed that there were exactly three down lights installed. Father, Son, Holy Spirit. 3 Sources of Light will be LOOKING over her daily. And a friend who was sharing with me what was on her heart gave me one simple word…WATCH. And I knew…God, the trinity was WATCHING over Lucy. THAT was the truth.

I didn’t have to worry…He was taking care of her. There in her room in future, but also while she was still in my womb. And instantly, that realisation removed the intense worry I carried with me during that week.

Will it be easy? Probably not. Will it hurt? Yes. Is there risk involved? Yes. But He is with her and I can simply do my part. He will do the rest.

Of course, the challenge is to live with that new-found realisation the next day and the next. This is where I do believe the Word is powerful, because the phrase that stuck in my head was ‘He did not give us a Spirit of fear, but of….a sound mind’. 2 Tim 1:7

SOUND MIND. As His child I did not have to buy into the chaos of stress. I can choose to take up His truth and promise and advice. But it IS a choice. And I try to choose that every day.

But fear can return…

A few days later my fear was that I wouldn’t cope when the moment arrived. How will I handle my water breaking or the pain of labour? What if I freaked out? Once again I had to return to the TRUTH of the matter, not the fear that comes so naturally. The truth that God designed me specifically for a situation like this. He made me woman. He created me for this purpose. And gave me a SOUND MIND to choose His peace and believe His promise if being there for us…but it’s my choice to take up that sound mind or surrender to panic.

The Price of Pride

Here, I simply wish I could thank all of the wonderful women God placed in my life over the past few years. There are new friends in the city we moved to, old friends who came back into my life, neighbours, family…the list is endless.

What I realised recently however is that I have robbed myself of so many blessings, because, like I said, I like being in control. Being pregnant at 39 was a huge new journey for me, but I didn’t want to admit to some of my younger friends the mental challenges I was facing.

Some of them have already had their children and were more than willing to give me the love and care and proper advice I needed. But it took me months to realise their value and discover the magic of sometimes being vulnerable.

And it’s pride that does that.

Pride, which I thought I’ve dealt with in my life.

When a young mom who simply loves helping other moms showed up on my doorstep with a gift (book on motherhood) and I saw all the book club friends’ names inside the card…I realised how dumb I’ve been. These women have been on my doorstep for over 2 years. And although I made friends with a few of them, I could have embraced them more and shared my worries, instead of trying to always save face.

They cared unconditionally. They understood the challenges I was going through. These women would have shared their stories without expecting anything in return, without laughing at my questions and without judging my opinions.

I know this is because I always want to be the one who helps. But wanting to ALWAYS be the rescuer is fuelled by unnecessary pride, not just love for others.

May I be wiser in future and stop missing out on the blessing of people.

Now What?

I don’t know what tomorrow will bring. You don’t know what you’ll face in future.

I’m just holding on to these few words, because if He helped me learn lessons and find hope in the past few weeks…He’ll do it again in my tomorrows.

What’s your biggest challenge? What phrase helps you through the day? What advice do you have for me on my mom-journey?

Thank you for reading.

A Call to Keep on Going

A Call to Keep on Going

I have never been more proud of this country than I’ve been these past few weeks.

Correction – over two decades ago we transitioned into a free democracy in a manner that many across the world thought would be impossible. It was then that I knew – this is a country to be proud of…and also a country kept in the palm of God’s hands. So many people are praying for this country – have been for decades – and these times of crises prove that there’s a Power at work that is carrying us through.

So, let’s face it: it’s in our blood (ALL of our blood) to survive, to do the unimaginable…to live above the standard the rest of the world often sets.

And now we face COVID-19.

COVID-19: The Challenge

For so many of us it meant a change of lifestyle, income, family dynamics and so much more. It has called our frontline workers to go beyond the call of duty. I commend you all: each citizen, for doing your part. And if you didn’t #stayathome…I forgive you 😉 #flattenthecurve people!!!

The New Challenge

But now we face another battle: negativity.

For weeks we’ve seen positive Facebook posts, inspiring stories and online challenges, enough to bolster people’s spirits.

But over the past few days I’ve started seeing the ‘vibe’ change online. Messages have gone from support to criticism. Complaints and stories about ungrateful communities are starting to make their way up the Facebook feeds, instead of the reports about the ones giving their time and resources to help those who are in need.

I’m not going to give those stories any airtime here. I simply want to come and remind us, South Africans, what we’re made of so we can keep on acting the way we should.

What Type of South African Will You be?

Let’s Work WITH, not AGAINST

Am I asking you to stick your head in the ground and not acknowledge that there are problems? No.

But it’s all about the attitude we do it with. Writing snide remarks about harsh regulations won’t really help anyone will it? All it sparks is negativity. Will you look for ways to better situations in your local community or simply have a rant on Facebook because you think it will make you feel better. BTW: It won’t!

Political parties are there to challenge each other, but once again I don’t appreciate sarcastic comments and criticism of a government who has done an amazing job at keeping us safe. There’s no one perfect way of managing this. There’s no handbook. But I KNOW our leaders are doing the best they can and praying for them in this time is vital. Politicians – if you can’t be constructive, please find another job.

Where do You Get Your Mindset from?

Of course you’re watching news at the moment. Whether you’re watching out of curiosity or the need for knowledge about the global situation, voices from around the world enter your consciousness via your phone and TV.

Now, what are those voices doing to your mind?

Certain first world countries have been all over the news with leadership not being able to agree on the best way forward. Presidents face off against their own local leaders and use childish ploys like Twitter to instigate conflict between citizens and authorities.

I am deeply thankful that I’m a citizen of THIS country. But now we all have to guard against taking on those countries’ mindsets. What you SEE and HEAR affects how you feel. Many of us are likely to pick up that ‘vibe’ of discontent and frustration even if it’s happening thousands of kilometres away.

So, will you allow another country to determine how you feel here and break the trust & sense of community that have sustained South Africans for weeks?

In this time, trust is vital if we as a country want to finish this race in the best way possible.

Keep the Faith…Until the END

When the South African lockdown started I was overcome – literally in tears at times – to see how we as a country came together. We supported our president’s decision, we promised to help each other through this and we were all the voice of reason & positivity for one another.

Photo by Clark Tibbs on Unsplash

That in itself was a miracle as big as what our country saw happen in 1994 (but that’s a whole article for another day).

And now we’re almost four weeks down the line.

Here’s my challenge to you: are you going to help us finish the way we started? Are we going to keep the faith – in Him and each other – until the day we can all venture outside again?

The alternative is to allow frustration – normal after being cooped up for 4 weeks – and other countries’ bad attitudes to ruin this whole experience for us.

I know you’re tired. I know you worry about your business, your family and the future. But we will not get through this properly if we start grumbling now.

We are STILL the South Africans of a few weeks ago.

If you have an idea, let’s work on it.

If you see a story – decide whether sharing it will have good or bad consequences for the scenario at large.

If you have an opinion, dissect it – which parts of that opinion will help us as a country flourish and which parts will simply be spreading negativity with no good results at all?

If you know about something that’s simply not right – ask assistance about what way forward instead of telling everyone how horrible this country is.

It’s not all fun and games, but we’re better off than many others in the world at the moment.

AND FOR GOODNESS’ SAKE PEOPLE – DON’T TAKE ANYTHING FOR GRANTED!

The Long Walk Ahead

It’s all about HOW we go about living these last few days in lockdown.

And then the big rebuild begins.

I don’t know about you, but I want to be in a positive mindset when that starts because we’re going to need all the physical AND emotional energy we can muster to work through the next few months.

But then there’s God.

2 Tim 1:7

We were not given a spirit of fear – we’ve faced the worst a country can face and survived

We were given a spirit of power – we will rebuild what was lost during the pandemic

We were given a spirit of love – let’s keep on showing this to each other

We were given a spirit of a SOUND MIND – let’s CHOOSE the mindset and attitude we will take on during the last days of lockdown and the months ahead, instead of following the chaos we see in other countries.